new years resolution fail?

i just realized my new years resolutions = kind of failing already, except for numbers 1, 3, and 4  -_- hmm. and it’s only been 23 days ever since the new years even started LOL.

oh well, gotta keep trying…… -_-

2011 here i come!

my first blog entry ever. ever since my five xanga entries back in high school. i dont like writing in general (i blame it on being a fob because i used to love reading and writing when i was young), so i’ve never really bothered to blog before, but i guess it is something i’ve secretly wanted to, inside. so here it is…

no one really knows about this blog. and i think i like it that way for now: 1. i’m embarassed of my writing skillz. 2. it’s nothing too interesting, but just my random bits of thoughts. i would like to keep it simple and not always so philosophical and whatnot, mostly because i am a pretty simple person and i already am forced to think too much; i wouldn’t want my blog to be an additional stress factor for me. but i still think it’d be beneficial to jot down these random thoughts just so i can look back and reflect upon them later or even to just use it as an outlet for my brain. i’m excited. (:

and more importantly, i’m so excited for this new year!! i usually only “think” about new year’s resolutions in my head, but never actually write them down – only because i’m lazy- but this year, i pushed myself to sit down and type out my new year’s resolutions. one positive change already? i hope so. so here’s a few from my list, not all, because some are more personal than others (even though no one knows about this  blog -_- lol).

1. work out!!! and no more junk food, like ob chicken at midnight, curly fries at 2am.. .(–> lose weight) i’m already getting hungry just thinking about them, hmm.

2. more regular life style: try to sleep and eat at regular times to not mess up my circadian rhythm and consequently, my physiological functions/brain. (i learned about circadian rhythm/biological clock and the negative effects of messing it up for whole semester last semester, so i would like to apply what i learned into my life.)

3. stop being mean to my mom. my parents deserve the most respect, and yet, i tend to be the meanest to my mom whenever i’m having a bad day when it’s not even related to her. i would like to be nicer to my mom- even when she nags me. this means more patience, respect, and no more rolling eyes and bitching (“짜증내-ing”) at my mom. time for me to grow up and be a better daughter to my parents.

**4. no more procrastination. do things on time, if not ahead of time. no more “mehh i’ll just do it sometime later. hopefully.”

–> this will be the hardest for me i think… being the laziest person ever -_- but better to at least try than to not try at all! i actually wrote all the necessary emails to professors, read the personal statements book and took care of some errands these past few days, which makes me feel like i’m changing for the better in this new year already. hopefully i can keep it up and won’t have to stay up all night cramming or reading over 700 pages and writing 20 pages of final essay just in two days (crazy stressful times lol) this semester. that would be just.. unbelievable and fabulous at the same time hehe.

5. read the bible every day. even if it’s one verse.

6. study hard. bleh. and apps… yeah..

7. and yet, make time to hang out with friends and make the most memories out of the last semester. yes, i’ll be super busy, but it’s all about time management and efficiency. **& this will be possible if my resolution #4/better time management actually happens this semester!

i’m so excited for this new semester and what the new year has in store for me. but at the same time, i’m scared; i’ll be graduating in may, and will be moving onto the next chapter in my life, with so many unknown/unpredictable/undecided future and choices ahead of me for the first time ever in my life. in the past, everything was decided for me-  when i was graduating from high school, the only path for me was going to college (Berkeley). i was just straight up chilling, looking forward to college without worrying about anything. but it’s different now. i need to pray pray pray and stop trying to have everything under my control.

i just hope i won’t get caught up in thinking about future, and actually live it up in the present because time flies by fast. (:

8-9 years ago? with my brother who's now taller than me.. time went by fast!

:)

blah

testing it out.